A Letter To My Teenage Self

I’ve been going back and forth about posting this. Writing this forced me to deal with old emotions that I’ve kept locked away, but I’d have to address them sooner or later.

Well, here it goes:

Dear teenage Didi,

Right now, you’re listening to your Play (the girl group)’s album for the 50 millionth time today, but I need you to put your CD player down (gently. those things are expensive) for a second so I can drop some 24 year old wisdom on ya.

I know you’re going through a lot of stuff right now. Your parents’ divorce is now final and let’s be real, it sucks.  I understand that you’re trying to be the rock for everyone else, but I just want you to know its OK to let your emotions out every now and then. Holding your emotions in is not good for you. You will get through this, trust me. And they actually had a fairly clean divorce compared to others. It could have been worse.

Now let’s talk family. It’s true that you can’t choose your family, so you’re stuck with them. I know there are times you wish you had a “normal” family, but let me tell you: Normal doesn’t exist. EVERY family has their issues and you should be thankful that you don’t have family members that are sick, in jail or dead. Just because they look “normal” in public doesn’t mean they’re like that behind closed doors. Yes, there was a lot of tension, but now we’re in a good place.

Let’s address the body image. I know your pure ears are going to implode when you hear this, but here goes: Puberty is a BITCH! Yea I said it! And no, it doesn’t get easier. You will get terrible terrible TERRIBLE acne. I can’t really tell you nothing to help cause I’m still dealing with it as an adult and it SUCKS! But know at 24, you know how make-up works and it helps (sorta). And also, you’re overweight. With all the emotional stuff, you did nothing but try to eat your feelings away. Not the best decision, but it made you “feel better.”

Last thing, I want to tell you. You might not believe this, but you are beautiful. I’m sure as soon as you read that, you rolled your eyes in disbelief, but it is the truth. At school, you look at the girls who always have guys fawning over them and wonder, “why can’t that be me?” Well there’s a reason for that: you’re just not ready for it. You could have boys lined up from here to Timbuktu, but that won’t solve your problems. Being single is not the end of the world, trust me. It gives you the opportunity to take a good look at yourself in the mirror and ask the question: Am I happy with what I see? Can you look past the acne and braces and extra pounds and see the smart, creative, funny and talented young lady that you are? Until you can honestly say YES to those questions, you are not ready to skip down the plains of “love” (I put quotes around love because you’re a teenager. They don’t know shit about love). As the great RuPaul says “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell can you love anybody else. Can I get an Amen up in here?” AMEN!

Now at 24, you’re taking much better care of yourself. You’re losing weight and happier. You’re more social and adventurous. If I begin to tell you the things you’ve done, you would think I was insane.

Basically, what I’m trying to say is everything going on in your life is happening for a reason. You were given these obstacles because the universe knows that you can handle it. Every mistake is a lesson for the future. You have spent your teenage years playing a supporting actress and/or an extra to other people’s life stories. Now is the time to work on your lines, go to hair and makeup and get on set, because there’s a new show in production and you’re the star.

Break a leg,

Future Didi