Dear Mr. McKnight,
Are you sitting down? Good, because what I’m about to tell you might bring shock and after what you’ve done recently, we’re all requesting that you have a stadium full of them. No, step away from the piano and let me finish. Okay, now in 4 days you will be 43 years old. Seeing that your friends and family refuse to give you an intervention, I’m going to do the honors….you are a grown man. You’re old enough to be my dad. Therefore, we don’t need you to give a gynecology lesson, that’s what health class and the doctor is for. And now you’re writing anthems for porn sites? Sigh, give me that piano.
I understand that you’re probably going through a mid-life crisis, but can’t you just do like other men and buy an expensive 2-seater car and if you’re not married, run around with some young 20-something year old. In case you haven’t been paying attention to twitter, we the people are not very fond of this new side of you. Those of us that are old enough to remember when your music was good anyway.
It’s not even the fact that you’re doing an ‘adult’ mixtape that has confused us. It’s that you completely did a 180 on us without so much as an intermediate introduction. You just completely flipped the script on us and we dislike it.
So my request is simple. Can you please “start back at one?” I’m sure you’ve heard that enough, but that’s all we can say until you finally listen.